I'm not crying

I'm not crying but I do feel empty.
I feel lost and confused,
Angry with myself for being in this place.

I'm not crying but I want to scream, loudly.
I feel tense in my body,
Longing to lash out.

I'm not crying but I'm bloody exhausted.
Scared to tell the truth,
Denying myself a chance.

I'm not crying but I feel so lonely.
Vulnerable and naked,
Beaten and raw.

I'm not crying, I'm not.
But I feel like I want to.