There was something about him that made her feel like a sixteen year old, but she just couldn’t quite place her finger on it. His ears stuck out slightly like Will Smith’s and his voice wasn’t exactly the most masculine she’d ever heard. But she found whenever he looked in her direction, her stomach started doing mini somersaults.
Standing out on the patio opposite her desk in his slick black shirt and faded jeans; chatting away on his mobile completely oblivious to the fact that she was staring him down. It was enough to make a girl crazy.
“Come on. Get back to work! He’s not interested. And of course you’ve got a boyfriend at home; who’s planning on leaving your ass in a few weeks, but for now he is still your loving boyfriend.”
And then he glanced up, caught her eye and smiled shyly. Suddenly all thoughts of Matthew melted away and she found herself smiling back, feeling colour flood to her cheeks. Bloody crushes.
It wasn’t anything serious thank god. Once she left the office, he was forgotten and Matthew was her only concern. She wasn’t the cheating type. Oh fantasies were a different area altogether. But they never invaded her and Matthew’s time together. But she did wonder.
Was thinking about another man, just to wile the hours away at work, did they count as being unfaithful? Did they devalue her feelings for Matthew? She did sometimes feel guilty. Imagining that Matthew never thought of anyone else and here she was daydreaming about flirting with this office stranger.
It was silly to dwell on it. Nothing was ever going to develop and as much as she happily wasted her day thinking about it, she didn’t want anything to happen. They were from two different worlds and even after Matthew left, she wasn’t planning on jumping into anything with anyone else for years, well maybe not years but for a while at least.
Why did she do it? Why was she compelled to look at him every time he walked past the office? And why did he look so good to her? She could ask questions about it all day but she’d never find an answer unless she asked him, and that was never going to happen.
In a way the ‘Spring’ office party that evening was the answer to her prayers. Maybe he’d speak to her. She didn’t even want to go really. She didn’t know anyone well enough to give up her time to stand around drinking crap wine with a bunch of pretentious fogies. But he wasn’t a fogie.
They had never really spoken. Not really. A joke or two by the kettle didn’t count as a conversation. And he looked so young. Around her age, but he seemed so good at his job and so confident. The kind of confidence that could only come with experience. Maybe he was just a confident person? She didn’t know anything about him.
She glanced up at the time display on her computer. Five-thirty. Almost time to go home, thank god. Oh damn, the party. Bugger it. Hmmm, make an appearance, have a drink, mingle… a little and then leave. Good plan. Another glance at the time and only seven minutes had passed. It was officially the longest day of her life, she thought. Fuck it, just make an excuse and go home. She couldn’t stand these people anyway.
Grabbing her coat and bag, leaving everything on her desk exactly where it was, mess or not, she switched of the computer and sauntered out of the office. The warm spring wind blowing through her hair and tingling every inch of her skin. At last, she was free.