SHE USED TO LOVE HIM

Always

KNEES GO WEAK

When he looks at me in that way,
My knees really do go weak.
His hands trace my bare spine,
Sending shocks of warmth up and down.
And then the tingles begin.

I close my eyes and get lost in his feathery touch.
His lips,
So soft and slightly damp where he has already traced his tongue across them,
Plant a light kiss on my collar bone.
I can hear his desire in every breath.

I wrap my arms around him,
Gently pulling his body closer to mine.
We both straighen our frames,
His chest opening up against my breast.

In the silence we're doing a mating dance,
Allowing our bodies to just go with the flow.
Touching, without any agenda except to enjoy the feeling of skin against skin.

He runs his hands down from my shoulders,
Past my triceps,
My elbows,
Until his hands are in my hands.
Our foreheads rest against each other,
Nose tips kissing...

Oh.
When he looks at me in that way...

OVER IN A JIFFY

I really think boyfriends are just like a brazilian wax.

They start off so tidy and clean. Makes you feel so special that occassionally you want to show them off to your friends (just me then?).

But after a while they start to look a little untamed, not matter what you try. You get uber annoyed with the fact they're making you feel uncomfortable all the time, and in the end you just can't stand the sight of them any longer!

So, we make the decision to sort it out, get rid and go through a hell of a lot of pain just to get the next one.

*sigh*

TOILET PAPER DRAMA

I know some people have already read this because I posted it on my Myspace page and Hi5 but I thought that I'd open up the debate to the rest of the world (since I don't use many more social networks).

Basically, I hate the toilet paper my work place provides. The only other place I've had a worse experience with it was when I was on holiday in New York. There it was like wiping your arse with a post-it. Things just got messy!

So, why can't employers just provide us with an enjoyable 'potty' experience?

My work place has an issue with the toilet paper they buy. No, no actually that's wrong, I have an issue with the toilet paper my work place buys. It's CHEAP!

I used to have issues with getting my hands wet (Yes that's right) I'd practically finger myself while trying to wipe because the tissue would rip.

So I decided to use close to half the roll, which I then found hard to flush. Peeing should be a no-brainer but I'm having to calculate tissue paper against water pressure (I really didn't need the added annoyance)

But I put up with it, mainly because I refuse to bring in my own. Oh and guys.... Air Freshner please?!

HAIRY

I hate hair. Whether it's on your head, under your arms, between your legs.... the shit is uncontrollable.

Have you ever actually combed your downstairs rug? I have a couple of times but then I have trouble putting on knickers because once they're on I look like a man! I'm sure I become attractive to other women that same day. And walking seems different once you've combed your muff. It feels like you've kind of forgotten how to do it.

Anyway my reason for blogging about this unattractive and taboo subject, I need a brazilian! It's been nearly 3 months and I swear, if I didn't already know where everything was, I'd get lost because it's a bloody jungle down there.

So I have a bit of a dilemma.

Now that I'm 'free and single' do I pay out £25 every 4 weeks to keep it looking sharp even though no one's going to see it, or do I leave it au natural and end up taking a Black and Decker strimmer to it?

Hmmmmm, decisions, decisions.