I wish

I know it's not going to be immediate but I wish it would all stop. 

At first I wished I could make it better. 

Then I wished I could pretend it didn't happen.

I wanted it to not be real; moving out proved I was definitely not dreaming.

I thought we could be friends, but that only works when you're both over it. I'm not sure if I ever will be. 

For a week or two I wished I could meet someone else. 

I wish we could talk but I've got nothing to say, except those 3 words I forbid myself to utter. I won't let them escape. 

I write you texts and delete them. I write you emails and discard them. I dream of you often and think of you always. 

I wish you'd take it all back. It's just not fair.