Are you being S.M.A.R.T or are you just being?

I held a training session this morning about setting S.M.A.R.T goals. I had no structure to my session as I hadn't prepared for it and I was basically bluffing my way through the session, but it did get me thinking.

I don't really have any goals. Crazy right?

I suppose I have some wishy washy ones:
"I just want to be happy"
"I'd like to have children one day"
"I hope to have a house in the countryside, walk my dogs along the beach and bake truly amazing cakes for my children's birthdays"
But where are the tangible career orientated goals; the ones that show I'm striving towards greatness?

Last night I spoke to someone I love dearly and felt as though they sounded so lost. It broke my heart. For as long as I've known them, they have pushed themselves to be the best that they can be, constantly reading up on their field of interest, answering work emails late into the evening, essentially working 7 days a week because of the need to prepare for the next week ahead. I found it SO frustrating that they so rarely let themselves have a day off, let alone a weekend.

I frequently ask what the hell I'm doing with my life.

I'm nearly 31 and I rent a room in someone else's house, I live pay cheque to pay cheque, I'm always in my overdraft because I like to buy cute things I don't need, eat out at nice places, drink myself into oblivion and dance like a crazy person, enjoy going to see live bands.

I'm not a saver, I'm not a 'put this aside for the future' kind of person, which is why I'll probably work until the maximum retirement age and won't be able to afford NOT to go back to work after having children, if I can even afford to have THEM.

But I love doing those things.

The fact that I'm 'a jack of all trades and master of none' of course bothers me but with 'great power, comes great responsibility'. And I honestly cannot be bothered with it. This way it means I can go home at a reasonable hour, have my weekends to myself and not have to squeeze in my holidays when I can, well squeeze them in. In a sense, I'm free. Free of responsibility, free of pressure, free of duty.

I hope they find peace, whatever they end up doing in life. And if you happen to read this and know it's you I'm referring to:

"To Live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all."

Oscar Wilde 

All my love x