No Love Allowed

I live with 3 beautiful women. That's not me being nice, these girls are gorgeous.

Each of them smart, funny and cultured. Found each other by chance, and it was the best thing that could have happened for me.

What do we have in common? We're single in London.

Whether fresh out of a relationship, been single for a while, suffering from trust issues, the one thing we all agree we crave is simple love and affection.

And it's proving hard to find someone on the same page.

Using a variety of means to meet someone new, it seems there is just too much temptation for some guys to remain keen enough to move passed the first or second date. Some don't even put in the effort to make it that far.

As much as I personally crave the attention and the physical affection (not referring to sex here) I'm also very aware that my heart is still healing, despite it nearly being a year, but I don't want anyone serious. There will be no Mr. Right. I'm not ready, it's still too raw.

I just want some good company, someone to laugh with, someone to talk to. It's probably what I miss the most.

The Date

I've decided to accept that I simply cannot control my heart. It wants what it wants.

Kind of like when my body craves chocolate or sugary goods around the time of the month all women, and possibly men too, hate.

So drawing on the limited learning I've gained from my Cognitive Behavioural Therapy course, I'm trying to change the way I interpret and respond to my surroundings.

Step 1: Be more active in terms of socialising and 'putting oneself out there'

Step 2: Strike up conversation with someone (a guy)

Step 3: Exchange numbers

Step 4: If you're not totally weirded out by the guy, set up a date

Step 5: Go on said date

So, that's what I've done; I've gone on my first date… It wasn't terrible but I'd rather not do it again.

He'll probably google my name now and read this but I have to be honest.

It wasn't him, I just didn't feel anything and in fact, we spent a great deal talking about our exes. Today was his ex's birthday and my 6th month anniversary. Dates to be remembered and not for the 5 beers and forced conversation.

Still, I did it and it was relatively painless... about as fun as a wax, which reminds me...

Tinderlious

Oh god I'm here again and I'll tell you what, it NEVER gets easier.

In fact I think I'm pickier than when I was younger, when all I was looking for was someone tall, cute and fun. Now I'm looking for something long-term, husband material, someone I could see myself growing old with - what a tall order?!

And how do you even go about it? Long gone are the days when I have the time, money or energy to go out every night and meet someone organically. Now it's all down to these fandangled phone apps - and the fact I used fandangled just proves how out of the dating scene I am.

Tinder... actually, when I was still with my ex he had a client who was working on a BETA app that we signed up to as testers. It was under a different name back then but it's generally the same thing.

Using your location, it offers you pictures of guys and girls that you can either 'like' or 'dislike'. If you like someone and they like you, you 'match' and you have the option for communication. Great. Simple enough...

Dislike
Dislike
Dislike
Dislike
It that really a penis? DISLIKE
OMG, really? Dislike

Hmm, maybe not as simple as I thought.

Am I rushing into this? No, it's nearly been 6 months; it's time to start the next stage. Can you do that if you haven't completely reached the finish line of the first? Shut up hope, shut up, we're doing this.

Ooh okay, cute. Like
Dislike
Dislike
Ha ha ha funny pictures. Like
Dislike
Dislike

Okay I'm bored now. I'll try again next month....