How Do You Choose

When I get on the bus to travel to work there are always seats, my stop is 3 from the terminal. The closer we get to Camden, the more people get on and it always intrigues me how people choose who they sit next to.

Personally if there's an empty row, I'll choose that over sitting next to someone, unless I'm getting off soon. If there isn't then I go for the seat nearest the stairs (I always sit on the upper deck).

I guess I question this decision process because I wonder if people go for who they deem approachable, in which case I don't match because I'm mostly left last. Sad, I know.

I've actually got someone sitting next to me as I type, she's just got on, but if I take a look around there are only 3 seats left... at the back.

Note to self: smile more whilst travelling

Keeping momentum

Three weeks ago I was chilling in the sunshine enjoying an amazing weekend away in Devon. Since then I've mentally made the decision that I'm moving there, or at least towards the South West.

I've been threatening to leave London for too long now, it's time to put together an action plan.

I discussed it briefly with my coach and I think he assumed I'd not put much thought into it, that I was simply riding the waves of my holiday euphoria, and he's partly right.

Moving away will not solve the issues I have, running away never does but as you all probably know by now I do not want to live in London for the rest of my life.

Someone at work has the same idea. She's moving to Gloucester because she's:

• Single
• 38
• Moved to London to make a lot of money and therefore to save a lot of money but living in London is not cheap and so hasn't saved
• Feels lonely in London
• Enjoys the lifestyle she enjoys when visiting 

I can see her reasons for moving, mine are similar. Yes I have friends here, heck my family are all here, but I just don't enjoy the hustle.

The traffic stresses me out, the number of people, the fact I can't walk to 2 metres down the road without smoke being blown in my face, I can't sleep without being woken by some truck/drunken idiot/ambulance or police car racing passed my window. Rent is so expensive, as is travel - if you're not working all hours to justify a pay rise so you can afford to live, you're working 2 jobs to afford to live.

Don't get me wrong, there's SO much London can offer but you need to be in the right place for it, otherwise it's overwhelming. I'll miss the lights along Embankment at night, having access to so many shows, the variety of music, markets and food. But I've lived here for the majority of my life and yet I yearn for something quieter.

So the saving starts here.

I want to have enough to move and survive a couple of months on savings, though I'll put in the planning beforehand so I have a job to move to.

This is it.

I might not get that cottage I've always dreamt of straight off but at least I'm making a step in the right direction.

Dancing In The Rain

Saturday morning I met up with my friend for our first Zumba class together in Camden. We found it as a deal on Groupon and needed a kick start to our Bank Holiday weekend.

Five minutes in and we were sweating, panting and counting down the hour. F**k Tough Mudder, this class was an INSANE workout! But we left feeling on top of the world, ready for Carnival on the Monday.

As you'd expect from British weather, the day I was due to dance in the street wearing next to nothing it rains.

I woke up yesterday morning after a shocking nights sleep, feeling exhausted and lazy. Having stayed over my friends house so we could go to Carnival together, we both sat on the sofa bed staring out at the bleak weather feeling less than motivated to leave the house. 

The general consensus was that we'd stay home or go bowling, but at some point during breakfast we were convinced by her boyfriend that even if we went for an hour, we should make the most of the opportunity, after all we'd paid for the privilege of dancing within a secured area, unlimited alcoholic drinks and snacks. 

Donning our outfits, plus an extra t-shirt and hoodie, we ventured out into the cold - the rain had stopped. Our spirits high, we got to Kensal Rise within 45 minutes of leaving the house. Unfortunately by the time we'd got there it was raining HARD. 

We'd took shelter underneath a shop canopy and waited for the rain to ease about 15 minutes. I was tempted to go home. In fact I announced it a couple of times. I said my goodbyes and was about to leave BUT, for some unknown reason, I changed my mind and we continued on. 

Music, alcohol, laughter and lots of dancing! 

We were soaked through but I wouldn't have changed it for the world! 

A Year On: Down With The Clique?!

Housemate 1 is going away for a month. A while back she mentioned getting someone in to cover her rent and asked myself and Housemate 2 whether we'd be okay with it.

My initial reaction was a positive shrug. But then Housemate 3, the one that didn't get asked and who doesn't really hold Housemate 1 is high regard, pointed out that this person would be a stranger in our rented accommodation, with a key and no contractual responsibility.

Suddenly Housemate 2 and I felt sheepish and wanted to retract our agreement.

Fast forward a couple of months forward, two days before Housemate 1 is due to fly out, and she's got interest from a friend of a friend. She WhatsApp's a message about it to the group chat asking if we're available to meet her. I'm the only one around this evening and Housemate number 1 won't even be home to greet her.

Housemate 2 and 3 won't be around and express reservations. Housemate 1 suggest getting locks on doors and seems surprised at the reaction.

I feel bad because she's right, the consensus was to meet the person first and now that she's pointed it out, it would be highly unlikely that the person would be a friend we'd get to spend time with beforehand because wouldn't that mean they've got somewhere to stay in London already?

Part of me wonders if Housemate 2 and I just rushed in with our initial okay or if we've actually been swayed by Housemate 3.

A quick interview style meet'n'greet the day before she's supposed to move in just doesn't sit right with me but... are we being too harsh?

No Love Allowed

I live with 3 beautiful women. That's not me being nice, these girls are gorgeous.

Each of them smart, funny and cultured. Found each other by chance, and it was the best thing that could have happened for me.

What do we have in common? We're single in London.

Whether fresh out of a relationship, been single for a while, suffering from trust issues, the one thing we all agree we crave is simple love and affection.

And it's proving hard to find someone on the same page.

Using a variety of means to meet someone new, it seems there is just too much temptation for some guys to remain keen enough to move passed the first or second date. Some don't even put in the effort to make it that far.

As much as I personally crave the attention and the physical affection (not referring to sex here) I'm also very aware that my heart is still healing, despite it nearly being a year, but I don't want anyone serious. There will be no Mr. Right. I'm not ready, it's still too raw.

I just want some good company, someone to laugh with, someone to talk to. It's probably what I miss the most.

Snap back to reality, Oh there goes gravity

So Christmas is over, New Year's done and dusted, and my bank account is empty (even after payday). I'm suffering from major sugar withdrawals, having survived on purely biscuits, Quality Street, homemade mince pies and cherry pie, over-indulging on alcohol and fatty meats for the last month.

What do we have to look forward to next? 

Well, I'm back at work and in a way it's nice that it's the beginning of a new year. I'm looking out over the next 12 months and I'm able to plan what I want to achieve in that time. There's a lot of growing to be done, and lots of shrinking too - mainly my waist and jaw lines.

I'm FINALLY ready to tackle this fitness thing once and for all.

My first PT session is booked and I'm monitoring my food intake over the next month. I find that if I have to note down what I'm putting into my body, I choose much better foods... except today when I had cheese for breakfast, oops, but I do have a homemade tuna salad for lunch.

I've not done a bit of exercise in 3 weeks. This will of course all change starting Sunday when I plan to torture myself with a 5k road run even if it's raining - f**k you rain. PLUS my housemate Mel and I decided last night that we're signing up for the British London 10k Run that's happening in July. I want to complete it in under an hour.... Oh yeah!

I will master the art of squats and if my PT has anything to do with it, my new best friends will be kettle-bells. Fine with me if he gets me looking Hollywood sexy in time for my trip to LA in September.

So LOOK OUT 2014 because it's forecast to be a fighting fit, fun and fantastical year!

Auditioning for a home

It's hard not to feel defeated when looking for a house/flat share after a break up, well at any time to be honest.

Trawling through adverts delivered as they match your search preferences, reading into the tone of the blurb (do they have a personality?) sending umpteen messages about yourself and trying to arrange viewings.

Then IF you get a response you are given a tour of the accommodation, mainly focused on the room you are hoping to rent, have a forced cheerful conversation in an attempt to impress followed by the WAIT. I've been to six viewings in the last two weeks; I've liked one, didn't get it and felt crushed.

I'm now looking for two rooms as a friend wants to move with me and I think I'll need her over the next few months. I've managed to secure a viewing today. Fingers crossed this one is perfect because I need to get out of my flat. Living with someone you love, but whom doesn't love you anymore is not healthy.

I thought, as we're still good friends, I could handle being there with him; and I can but I've suddenly noticed that he acts a bit differently now. That glint he always had in his eye when he looked at me as now disappeared. That. Just. Kills. Me.

Last night I cried for the first time in four days because I finally understood - this is it. I've been telling myself for two weeks that he still loves me, that he's going away to find himself but he'll be back in six months, a year, and we'll pick up where we left off because he loves me… but last night it finally clicked.

I obviously couldn't sleep so I spent a couple of hours, until my eyes wouldn't stay open a second longer, checking spareroom and gumtree, typing witty messages in an effort to show a bit of my sparkling personality.

I'm auditioning; applying for a role as a suitable housemate. There are no call backs - you're either in or you're out.

It's cut-throat, it's competitive and it's all just very overwhelming for me right now.

Feeling HOT, HOT, HOT

Sweaty doesn't even begin to describe it. Add sticky, thirsty, uncomfortable and, for some, a little smelly to the mix and we might be getting somewhere.

Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE the sunshine. It makes most people happier, friendlier sometimes more outgoing!

We wait months and months, praying for a summer to rival The Med islands we now pay a fortune to visit for a week or two and when we get it, EVERYONE starts to complain.

HA!

I may have a need for a cold shower and reapply the sweat smudged make-up by the time I've walked to work but isn't it glorious?

This is from my lunch break!!!!

"I'm loving it, loving it, loving it"

Burns on the way in.....

Had a very lovely evening with a bestie tonight. We met at London Bridge for a stroll along South Bank, enjoying the last few rays of today's sun. 

The plan was to stop off for a burrito at the Wahaca pop-up shop as they are usually filling and quite delicious. 

Unfortunately for me this evening the hot sauce has done something to my tummy and I am now paying for it. 

:'(