You Already Know

The afternoon sun shone gently through dainty wisps of clouds in the hazy blue sky; the emergence of spring marking its fight against winter’s determination to stay. Country scenery whizzed past as her train cut across it towards London, the grey city.

Denver stared aimlessly out of the window, catching a glimpse of herself from time to time. She really wished she had had her haircut last weekend like she’d planned, instead of giving into her laziness and vegging out in front of the television. Shrugging her shoulders, she subtly shook her head at herself. Reddish brown curls took this opportunity to free themselves from the loose bun Denver had piled on top of her head, and fell forward into her face. Irritated by them tickling her cheeks, she hastily tucked them back in place.

More beautiful landscape rushed past her window, snatching her attention once more. Why did trips like this make her feel so lonely? There was something about looking out and admiring the view that made her so wistful; watching the green space go from roaring hills and fields to the odd playing field the closer they got to the city. They reminded her of trips with him and the many trips she made, back and forth visiting family, without a companion.

It wasn’t that she was nervous about meeting up with him again, it had just been such a long time since they’d last been seen each other. He had called out of the blue and Denver remembered the heat that had rushed to her face as she answered. Okay, not just to her face. Denver fidgeted in her seat at the memory. The passenger next to her coughed loudly and shot a look of annoyance in her direction. He had been like that the entire journey from Bath. Denver wriggled a little more for good measure. 

There was a crash and a clang further along the carriage. Denver noticed everyone around her swivel their heads to look in the direction of the noise. She returned her focus to the window and leaned her head back on the headrest. It was at least another hour before they arrived at Paddington station. 

Oh god, why had she agreed to this again? 

Growth Of Self: Finding The Time

I think I've been a 'victim' for far too long.

Accepting that you have the ability to create the life you have always dreamt of, can be extremely empowering. I'm literally buzzing with anticipation, excitement, at the possibilities; it's just about finding the time to fit everything in.

I'm blessed to have so many people in my life who want to spend quality time with me, and it does get a tad difficult making sure that I'm giving everyone their due attention, including myself.

I'm trying to read as much as I can, on the bus ride to and from work, just before bed, in the bath; my kindle has never seen so much action! But reading is just the start, in order to get to where I want to be I need to DO something.

I find this a lot easier to apply to things such as fitness... work on the other hand...

A review is in order because right now life is happening to me instead of me creating the life I want to live.

I hear my internal dialogue saying "let's start next week", "what if we wait until after our holiday, when we're rested?" and if I'm honest with myself, I'm listening to it when I shouldn't be because the way things are right now, it doesn't serve me well.

So here I am, Monday afternoon, looking forward to the end of the work day so I can get my fitness on, thinking - what can I do today that my future self will thank me for?

Wishing you a productive day people! 

Growth Of Self: Recognising How You Restrict Yourself

I've just finished a 10 day NLP programme, and boy have my eyes been opened.

I signed up to do this programme because I know I am my own worst enemy, so these 10 days I sat in a room with 40 other people being introduced to a variety of tools that I can utilise to recognise resourceful and unresourceful behaviour patterns and ultimately change them.

And if I became aware of anything during that time it was how much of a hold my 'restrictive' behaviours have on me.

My head hurt so bad by the end of the first day that I called in sick the next day as it had brought on a migraine. The chatter had already started, "You'll never get this", "You don't understand this because you're not capable of applying it", "When you get this wrong, everyone will know you're an idiot - whatever you do, KEEP QUIET".

My self dialogue was running wild and unfortunately I couldn't help listening. 

Honestly, the last 4 months have been a full-on journey of self-discovery, or perhaps uncovery. Lots of stuff I was 'partially aware of' has fluttered to the surface and is now staring me boldly in the face challenging me to take it on.

The question is, where to start?

One Step At A Time

First things first, I want to dedicate time to being comfortable with these new techniques.

I'm spending some time out of London this weekend and I plan to enjoy the peace and quiet in order to review what needs to be done, set priorities and plan my next steps.

The more I practise being aware of these 'restrictive' behaviours, and identifying whether they serve me well or not, the more I can make better decisions.

Oh and recognising that I'm in a good place, better than a lot of people, and being grateful for that as well as knowing that I am already making great progress.

Growth Of Self: Workout/Life Balance

I have a sweet tooth. 

I like 2 sugars in my morning coffee. I'm a big fan of Cadbury's chocolate, which I am craving a lot at the moment. I'll chow down on any kind of crumble, or work my way through half a packet of ginger nut biscuits. 

I have daily battles with my cravings for these BAD things. Sometimes I win, and sometimes… lose is too kind a word for what actually happens. 

Things is, I KNOW that sugar, and carbs but that's another blog for another time, is the reason I cannot shift my muffin top! But cutting it out completely would make me a miserable arse. 

So what can I do? 

I turned to my friend, who over the last couple of years has became a fountain of workout and nutrition knowledge. We had a deep conversation about 'realistic' programmes geared toward weight loss or body fat reduction. 

She told me about an article she'd read on a simple "30 minute a day HIIT routine", which over the course of a few weeks (plus watching what you stuff your face with, of course) could see you meet your goals but also that it's SO easy, it's proven to be less of a quick win and more of a sustainable long-term workout regime. 

Now, I have a problem with this already. 

Of course I generally have 30 minutes to dedicate to some form of exercise BUT if that exercise requires me to be in specific workout gear or using particular apparatus, then 30 minutes EVERY DAY becomes less realistic to me. 

I've got friends/family to visit, weekend courses to attend, additional study and research to undertake, dinner/drinks to be had, gigs to go to, washing, cleaning and cooking to do, as well as my 9 - 6 day job. 

I'm lazy as it is, we've established this blogs and blogs ago, and 30 minutes is nothing really in the scheme of things but doing High Intensity Interval Training EVERY DAY? I don't think so. I don't want it that much. 

And that's really the question isn't it? How much DO you want it?!

I'm all about the quick wins but in this instance I'm going to slug it out and see if 3 decent cardio workouts, one that focuses on stretching and strength, more walking (now the sun's out) and good eating does the trick. 

Let's set the deadline for June 6th. 

Thirty-Two And A Spinster - Part Four

One more week to go and I'll be a year older. 

So far my 30's have presented me with tough life experiences. Though I am not religious in any way I can't help but quote St Paul from Second Corinthians: 

'For when I am weak, then I am strong' 

After each event I've found myself in a strange but familiar darkness where I've experienced an acute anxiety of the future. 

Thursday is counselling day. 

An hour a week I am forced to look at WHY I do things, or think about things the way that I do, so it's no surprise that I have been drawn to topics like 'self-confidence', 'depression' and 'happiness' on TEDTalks.

Interestingly, some of the key messages I picked out fit nicely with the NLP course I'm about to embark on next weekend but also with the conversations I've been having with my counsellor.

When the final wave of my grief over my relationship ending I posted a status on Facebook by Bob Marley about being strong, and in the talk I listened to after last week's session by Andrew Solomon, those words were repeated:

"We seek our identities in the wake of our painful experiences" 

Well, hot damn, that's what I've been doing for the last 6 months... wow, it's been 6 months! How different life could be if I'd made a different decision.  

My favourite talk of them all was one by Shawn Achor 'The Happy Secret To Better Work'. Not only is Shawn an engaging speaker but he puts things into perspective.

The main thing I took away from his talk was the way he broke down the happiness formula that we all probably use:

"If I work harder I'll be successful. 

The more successful I am, the happier I'll be..."

And every time our brains register a success, we change the goal posts of what success looks like! Take this weekend for an example, I ran a 10k for the British Heart Foundation with some work colleagues and got a personal best, in fact I've never come close to getting that time before and yet I'm already scheming how I can better it rather than just being content.  

"If happiness is on the other side of success, your brain never gets there."

It's an interesting thing to consider though, no? 

What do you consider to be success and do you allow yourself to enjoy it when you get there or do you immediately move the goal posts and therefore delaying your happiness? 

Thirty-two And A Spinster - Part Two

#LazyGirlRunning

Me to a T.

So at the beginning of the year, when I made a promise to myself that this was the year that I'd run a half marathon, I knew I needed help to get there. I signed up to a 10 week programme with Laura Fountain, who IS Lazy Girl Running, and hoped that not only would I make it to more than one session but that I'd notice a difference in how I ran.

After 4 weeks of attending these weekly sessions, and forcing myself to run home from work once or twice, I went along with a few of the girls from the programme to run a 10k across Wimbledon Common and Richmond Park. Apart from the icy cold temperatures, I absolutely loved it.

A few of us at work have signed up for a 10k next weekend in Regent's Park. I'd hoped it would be a real social affair but apart from a large number of us all doing the run, nothing 'tribey' has been organised. Not that I mind; I have a goal.

I want to complete this in under 60 minutes.

My average pace is between 5.35 - 5.59 so with the right conditions I could do this in between 54-56 minutes *fingers crossed*

There was a dip in my motivation at the beginning of the month but I'm back on it. I've got some gorgeous new running tights, my New Balance trainers (all 4 pairs of them) have seen better days but still a few more miles in them yet and I've got strength. That half marathon is within reach.

I'm hoping to join a local gym so that I can get back to doing weights. I have a decent level of strength to tackle hills but my legs tire after about 11k. with a quick walking break I'm usually fine but I'd like to be able complete the HM without stopping.

Dreams, dreams, dreams :) let's just complete next weeks run first!

 

Thirty-two And A Spinster - Part One

Like most Monday mornings, yesterday I found it very hard to get out of bed. I got home from my mum's and went straight to my room were I was reading until late (ish as it was still before midnight) caught up in a romantic piece of chick lit.

Then one of my housemates crashed home at 2 am after a boozy date and woke me up. So I'm tired, and apparently grouchy.

After 3 weeks of feeling poorly, I'm now feeling terribly portly! All this eating and no exercise is expanding my waistline. No fault of my own for a change, it's just amazing what a difference a break away from my routine can do.

So now that I'm back to good health, I just need to retrain my body and brain into the habit of exercising and eating better; as much as sitting on the couch eating ginger-nuts and drinking tea sounds like heaven in this bipolar weather.

• First step is to eat breakfast every day. 
• Second, try to get some protein in there.
• Third, eat a sufficient lunch and dinner.  
• Forth, run home twice a week.

I packed my bag and in it I put... my running kit and I ran home last night.

I decided to take a different route to normal, one I knew put hadn't checked the distance. By the time I got to just over 4km I could feel a dirty stitch developing underneath my ribs. I tried to run through it but it made me feel like I wanted to be sick so I gave into it, I finished logging my run and walked it out.

I didn't want to give up. I knew if I hadn't got the pain I'd have been able to run the whole way. Instead of letting the negative thoughts overcome me and giving up, I started a new workout and began jogging in a new direction. The pain was gone, my legs were still feeling okay, no harm done.

When I got home, dripping with sweat and feeling a tad over heated, I'd covered a longer distance in just over my normal time - chuffed to bits. Going to try to better this on my next run home. Typical Arian competitive streak coming out.

Getting my SEXY back is just one of the tasks I'm setting myself. There's a lot more to do!

Check Me Out

I'm trying to be playful with my style - NOT by buying more clothes for a change.

I've noticed that I frequently get compliments at work about my clothing and hair styles, so I'm trying to make the most of 'what I got', my hair especially.

I'm blessed to have soft, ringlet curls, which I can blow out should I feel the urge. As much as I find straight hair easier to style, I try not to do it often as it dries my ends and means that I need more cut off when it's time for a trim.

However, 2nd day curly hair is NOT fun! You can't wear it out because it's flat and matted where you've slept on it, and putting it in a ponytail makes me look about 12. This is where Pinterest has become a lifesaver. I found some cool pins, which show step-by-step guides on cool and stylish up-dos.

They come from a blog on Loxa Beauty, but the author who has changed my life is Samantha Harris. I'm being more adventurous and completely open to being more versatile with my hair.

The gorgeous Samantha Harris  |  My 'smaller scale' attempt

Although my hair isn't the same length or texture as Samantha's, I just make slight amendments to suit my own hair type, and so far I'm happy with the outcomes.

If you have the same problems as I do with being creative with your hair, check out this lovely lady's blog posts here.


Keep 'em coming Samantha, keep 'em coming!

In The Meantime

I'm a bit of a self help junkie. Well, no that’s not really right, I’m a self improvement junkie.

I don't adopt everything articles/books/podcasts/videos suggest in the hope that they will magically change my life, but I'm quite a reflective person and when things aren't going so well in my life I like to conduct a little audit.

Years ago, a friend suggested I read Iyanla Vanzant's "In The Meantime". It's a book about love; about learning to love yourself in order to receive unconditional love from others (friends, family, partner, etc).

At the time I was in my late teen’s/early twenties, I had no idea who I was let alone how to love myself unconditionally, but some things must have resonated with me because when I open the book now the pages are peppered with passages underlined.

I’ve had so many conversations with friends, male and female, over the last few weeks about working through personal issues, valuing our personal worth and basically thinking and doing things that mean great important to us.

So I wanted to share a few of these messages with you because they have given me a little more fire in belly and every one needs a little more fire mid-week - enjoy!

“People cannot fulfil your needs.”

“We must bring a strong sense of self, purpose and a sense of value into a relationship.”

“Time is of absolutely no consequence when you are doing healing work directed toward inner growth. We make time an urgent matter by using age or status as a measure of accomplishment.”

“There is no prescribed period or length of time you can spend in the meantime. You will stay in the meantime for as long as it takes to get your inner workings in order. You will also be there for as long as it takes, not only you to get ready, but for someone else to get ready.”

“Do not convince yourself that you cannot do what you need to do or that doing it will not produce the results you desire.”

“Those bad experiences were the only way love could get your attention. They were also the routes you chose.”

“Your experiences are the result of what you have been thinking, saying and doing.”

“As you shift out of your old patterns, some people and things are going to fall away. The things that once made you happy can no longer make you happy.”

“There is absolutely nothing wrong with you or anyone else! Every experience, every relationship, every heartbreaking or dishonourable event in your past was a necessary element of your growth.”

Time To Take It Seriously

Money has always been my biggest weakness. I'm useless with it. As soon as it hits my account, it's gone... doesn't help that I have an addiction to eBay.

I want to save but the things I want to experience cost money.

I have to make peace with the fact that I will never be in a position that I will be able to afford my own home. It's something you really need to start to save for early on, something I wish someone had made clear to me in my late teens.

So this year I've made the decision to invest in my education and life experiences. I've finally found a job that I enjoy and it marries most of my interests.

It's time!

I'm not getting any younger and time just seems to be slipping through my fingers scarily fast.

In two months the lease will be up on our flat and there will be two options: our rent will stay the same and I'll stay or I'll have to move.

As much as I want to get out of London I have finally built up the momentum where I could learn and experience a lot (professionally). I'm not sure if that means staying in my current role, although I'd need to continue REALLY shaking things up, or seek other opportunities.

I've felt myself slip into a bit of a lull recently and I wonder if that's because I've not had a proper break since Christmas. I'm second guessing myself every day. I'm at a point where I feel like I want to just escape it all for a while.

I think I need to refocus. I've got my next coaching session on Saturday morning and I feel like I should reduce the time between sessions for the next few, get back that momentum I had.

One thing I do know is that come January 2015 (eek!!) I'm going to be starting my CIPD course and that will take me one step closer to where I want to be professionally. I have to remember that I'm not superhuman and I have to be careful not to overload myself but I just want to be AWESOME!!

And on that note, here's a link to a real guide on 'How to be Awesome'. I'll be following these tips religiously for the next month to see if it makes any difference.

A Year On: Believe In Your-F**king-Self

Confidence.

It's so complex.

I was having a conversation the other week with a male friend of mine and at one point it got amusingly heated because though he said he felt he was winning in the end we just ran out of steam. I kept fighting back his argument. I wasn't wholly destroying it because I partly agreed with him, but what I was trying to say was:

Men and women will never be equal because we play from different rule books and speak a different language.

True, no?

Now when I said this to one of my closest female friends she almost slapped me, but hear me out...

I'm not claiming that women are the weaker sex; women lift weights, run ma-hou-sive organisations & countries - we are NOT weak, it's just that most of us merely approach things from a different perspective to men and THAT's what I'm getting at.

It's also driven by the perception of how a woman should act.

Most of the time if a woman says she doesn't want to have children, people bulk. If she has children but leaves them most of the day because of her passion for her work, she's seen as neglectful. If she acts in a way that appears detached, she's viewed as cold-hearted and called a bitch. Men, not so much. They'd be praised and more often than not, promoted.

The conversation all stemmed from a simple question:

Do you think you're confident? 

I can be, in situations. On the whole, I wouldn't say I was. As an Aries, confidence is supposed to be ingrained but I have deep insecurities I try to keep hidden, that I cannot explain. One characteristic I do have of a typical Arian is that I hate failure but the fear is so large I just don't try.

When I look in the mirror I'm aware of the things that can be improved, which is bizarre when others around you are saying otherwise.

How easy is it to REALLY change that behaviour and turn limiting beliefs into positive ones?

A Year On: In Between The Lines

You receive a text from a boy.

It's not asking a question, in fact it's more of a statement, so you don't need to reply. It's complimentary and you're flattered, but despite what he's said his actions are contradictory.

What message do you go with?

Further to my Shut That Door post, I'm starting to feel a lot of resentment towards the men in my life that seem to want me to wait for when the timing is good and ready for THEM.

It's like that song by Loose Ends 'Hanging On A String' whose lyrics are:

I've waited oh so long for you to come to me

What did I do wrong? It's all a mystery to me

Baby I feel it too, What am I supposed to do?

Maybe I've just changed, Or could I be wrong for you?

You, you've got me hangin' on a string now

I'm not your plaything x2

You never told me you were waiting, contemplating

With my heart, my love x2

Do you mean to say that after all this time

I've waited like a fool, now who's been changin' you?

And that's my biggest fear.

Someone said to me recently that perhaps I'm attracting men at a crossroads because I'm at a crossroads. At a fork in the road. 

I think it's probably best for me to cut myself off. 

A Year On: Taking Control

Last night before bed I did some Ab work. I intended on getting up this morning to do them again but I chose to stay in bed and snooze.

When I'm looking at exposing my stomach to the world in less than 6 weeks, I really need to make defining them a priority but I guess I can't want it that bad if I opt to sleep over having a decent brekkie and a quick workout before my morning shower.

I had M&S cornflakes instead for breakfast, which by the way taste nothing like Kellogg's. In fact they are thicker and therefore chewier. I don't like them. I meant to pick up my smoothie from the fridge to have on the bus ride in but forgot it.

So now it's 11.12 am and I've already had my fruit snack. My stomach is crying for some food but I refuse to give in and have my crisps - I just cannot condone snacks like that before noon.

I plan to do some interval training tonight to get my sweat on and follow that up by some weights. Squats & lunges are on my mind…. as well as lunch. What's the canteen got on the menu today? Fish… might need to go to the salad bar and get some chicken or a damn burrito - I'm verging on HANGRY.

Four hours later

I stuffed my face.

Had a curried chicken stir-fry/paella-esque thing with roasted vegetables and roasted chicken. It was delicious.

Enjoyed a cup of tea, whittled my unread emails down by half and finally finished the report for my boss with a working table of contents, which I had to Google in order to get working.

I've also asked a boy out.

the decision came from a little bit of peer pressure but also, I just need to get out there. I spend most of my free time on the sofa, which isn't healthy.

I'm in my early 30's, I'm good looking, smart and funny. I'm wasted sitting at home, even if I'm there with the girls. It's time I put on my gladrags and stepped out into the world, I've got enough clothes for it after all #guilty #ebaying.

No response yet but at least I'm taking control.

And on that note, I really need to review my coaching action points....

Just Keep Swimming - motivational quotes

When it gets hard to focus or you lose sight of your goal, sometimes a little reminder does the trick!  

 

 

 

 

Focus on how you feel

As someone who has had body issues for as long as I can remember, it's difficult not to focus on things like 'how much you weigh' or your 'dress size'.

Growing up I was always quite active. I played Netball twice a week (practise and a game), I was on the athletics team, and would walk 5k a day (to school and back).

Once I'd done my A Levels, my life became more sedentary. Within two years I went from a UK size 10 (US 6) to a size 14 (US 10). didn't help that I was working in a pub and my routine was a late start and late finish with beer and burgers making up most of my meals. Exercise ceased to exist in my life.

However, I was completely unaware that there was anything 'wrong' with my body.

I was blissfully ignorant to the feelings of body self-consciousness until a boy I used to date as a young teenager called me 'meaty'.

Comments like that have continued to haunt me and even when people I love, including boyfriends, have tried to convince me otherwise. There's an image in my head that I'm in constant competition with. I am never satisfied.

But I've learnt that what I'm looking for is not at the end of any fad diet and the scales at the gym (because I don't own my own) are never going to make me happy.

It's going to be the way I feel in my favourite pair of jeans. The way they hug my thighs without cutting off circulation when I sit down.

It's going to be the way my t-shirts do not ride up my back when I walk and the fact that I can carry those heavy shopping bags a bit further before swapping hands.

Feeling stronger due to a healthier, active lifestyle. Looking 'better' will be an added bonus.

"Just keep swimming"

Sometimes to get what you want you have to do things you really don't enjoy.

Exercise is a bloody pain. Well, that's not strictly true, exercises that make a damn DIFFERENCE are a pain.

They're hard work, they're definitely NOT a quick fix solution and they can be uncomfortable... but to grit your teeth, do them anyway and start to see changes to your body? Without a doubt, one of the best feelings EVER! Even when your favourite jeans are too tight; not because you've put on weight, but because you've put on muscle.

A week before my birthday I told myself that just because my skinny arse housemates continue to keep the cupboards stacked with biscuits, popcorn and chocolate goodies, it doesn't mean I have to eat them. Clearly our bodies process those food differently. They don't get fat, but I do. C'est la vie.

So I stuffed my last oreo into my mouth, shed a tear and vowed to make more of a conscious effort to eat cleaner. Where their breakfast is a bowl of cereal or fruit and a yoghurt, mine will be eggs and wholemeal toast; their dinners consist usually of beans on toast or a bowl of popcorn followed by a chicken pie, I will roast a decent portion of chicken accompanied by sweet potatoes and leafy greens.

I don't care HOW badly I want to have that streamlined look, I'm terrified by the notion that if you do not feed you body enough it starts storing fat for pure survival, so I eat.

My muscles may develop quick enough but I put on fat just as easily. Apparently that means I have a endomorph body type. I actually sit between two types, endo and meso, but I think I fall mainly under the former. That means I need to do some serious cardio and frequent muscle building/strengthening.  

I have to confess that I have noticed that, even in two weeks, by reducing my simple carb and alcohol (sugar) intake, my body has started to accept change more easily. That and I've run 15km in the last 4 days.

I shall miss my Friday night glasses of wine after work but I want this more. And if I plan in a night or two of ultimate debauchery per month, so not completely cutting myself off, I'm sure I can maintain this new regime. The more results I see, the easier it will be to convince myself I'm not giving up anything but rather giving myself the best treat of all - achieving my goals!

Seven Year Detox

I came across an article this week, which stated, over a period of sevens years all the cells in your body are renewed so you are in fact a completely different person you who you were seven years ago. Amazing huh?

So I figured, what with this old boyfriend popping up in my life again, what would the calculations look like if I applied this to 'getting a boy out of my system'?

Here are the phases:
P1: Age 0 - 7
P2: Age 7 - 14
P3: Age 14 - 21
P4: Age 21 - 28
P5: Age 28 - 35

I met boyf #1, the out of the blue boyf Blast From The Past is about, when I was 19, last stages of P3. We were together for all of about 5-6 months and went through some pretty life changing experiences, for me at least. I'd say he was my first love.

I met boyf #2 when I was 16 but we didn't get romantically involved until P4. He left me for America. If you really want to be depressed, read some of my earlier blogs. They were written around that time. Blogging helps heal the heart :)

And I met boyf #3, him, when I was 28. Unfortunately that means, if this theory is correct, I have 4 years and 23 days left before his hold over me wears off.

Damn, this boyfriend detox is worse than working cocaine out of your system. That only lasts 90 days, and I know this because I did my research, not from personal experience :)

One step...

Do you have self-discipline?

My friend sent over a link to me this morning titled:

No Excuse! The Power of Self Discipline

So far I've only managed to listen to the first 18 minutes of it. Not because it's heavy going, it's just not something you can listen to whilst trying to think, plan or note down others things; it's something you should really pay attention to.

However, even above the hubbub of my normal working day I heard something important, something that made me stop what I was doing and listen properly. It was this quote:

"Self discipline is the ability to do what you should do, when you should do it, whether you like it or not."

Whether you LIKE it or NOT. 

Now, that's where my ears pricked up. That has made me sit at my desk and reflect on all the things that I do because I'm too lazy to put in the hard work. 

My career. So I've never known what I've wanted to do in life, but if I had put in the HARD WORK who knows where I'd be now. 

My fitness. My ex was a PT. He would talk for ages about the things he'd read or learnt, tried to show/guide me a few times, he thought I was good enough to be a Zumba instructor and so paid for me to get my certificate. Though I found it all interesting, the healthy eating, meal planning, weight lifting, responsibility... it all seemed like such HARD WORK. So, two years on, I'm at square one instead of square 50 or something. 

My finances. I've been very open about my weakness for spending. I like pretty things, what can I say? I want those gorgeous Irregular Choice shoes, I want that nice fake fur coat, I want those trainers, that tattoo, to go to that gig... etc. Saving means I miss out on those things. Saving means I'm at home because I cannot 'afford' to go for drinks AND put money away this month. Saving sounds boring. It's all just too much HARD WORK. 

18 minutes was all it took for me to start thinking perhaps taking the 'path of least resistance' isn't all it's cracked up to be. 

Watch this space people! 

OMG am I freaking mental?!

It's official. I have now been signed up to do Tough Mudder.

Why oh why do I convince myself that these events are fun? Luckily I've got until August to train for it but seriously?!

We've put together a team of 11. Three are general fitness freaks, one is in training for a marathon, one has already completed a marathon, three more whom are in pretty decent shape already and then there's the girls ha ha ha. What are we thinking?

Still, it's great to have something to work towards. The videos available on their site and on youtube give us an idea of the type of fitness level we need to reach in order to, at the very least, survive. It's doable...

There's already talk of group training sessions when it starts to get lighter and gym techniques that could help us prepare - 7 months to go!

Is it weird that I'm kind of excited?

YEAH!

The onesie rut

Sitting at home watching movies with your girls is all right every once and a while but when you take stock of your month and see that it happens each and every evening and weekend… it's time to re-evaluate your social life.

The problem with January is it's a 'poor' month for me. I over spend at Christmas because it's the party season and I've seem to continued with that level of spending into the New Year. It's day 20 and I've already had to dip into my savings to save me from going too far into my overdraft.

We all know I love to spend.

In the last month alone I've had to fork out for 3 family birthday presents, lots of travel and then there's my shopping habit (2 coats, 3 pairs of shoes and some new gym kit - not apologising for the the last one though).

This has GOT TO STOP. With 11 days left of the month I'm looking at my calendar and thinking - I can hold on for a little bit longer if it means I am in a better position financially.

My hair is badly in need of a trim but with some serious deep conditioning and homemade oil treatments, my ends can survive for another 2 weeks. And now that I've recovered from my common but brutal cold, I'll fill a couple of week nights with visits to the gym, even if it's just for 30 minutes in the sauna.

My work lunches will be brought in from home EVERY DAY and I will use whatever I have in the cupboards. Dinner will be sponsored by Scandal, meaning that I shall be eating nothing but popcorn until pay day next Friday, and at the weekend I can make a point of visiting my mum's to get fed.

Bloody hell, I'm nearly 31 and I'm living like a student.

In the meantime I should probably invest in a few more onesies... I think I might have a shopping addiction.