A Year On: Handling Business

The reason I have never wanted to be a manager or hold an equivalent status is because I'd have to be invested in office politics, and I just do not have the patience or brain capacity to put up with bullsh*t like that.

And yet I have found my Tuesday morning dealing with a manager trying to avoid getting blamed for crap organisation by pointing his fag-stained finger firmly in my direction.

I am so enraged and I do not handle anger in a professional manner FULL STOP. So profanities flew out of my mouth for all on my floor to hear as I read his poorly written emails palming off HIS responsibilities in my lap.

It's things like this that make me want to throw in the towel and get a job in a shop. F**K!

And now there's a part of me that questioning if he's actually right and I should have done more.

What REALLY got me was when he described himself as a 'middle man' only passing on requirements, not an expert. Well, as far as I'm concerned, given his role in the company, he should be an expert in his field and therefore the perfect person to run a session meant for clarifying aspects relating to his work, no?

Ultimate RAGE coursing through my veins right now. ULTIMATE RAGE!

Waiting for the phone to ring

I've never been very good at the whole dating thing. I've kind of just ended up getting into relationships with friends, or friends of friends.

They already know some or all of my 'special' qualities so I'm more comfortable around and that makes the flirting side of things A LOT easier.

My ex and I met under special circumstances. We took things into our own hands. If we hadn't I'm sure we would probably have never met. And, though it ended, we had a great time together.

So here I am, single, my heart on the mend and a recent influx of male attention. A guy has asked me out on a date, we've confirmed the day but not the time and that's the last I've heard from him.

I refuse to get in contact with him first but am I entitled to feel pissed off with the fact we've not communicated for over 5 days?

I feel like calling the whole thing off just out of principle.

Urgh, what a headache!

To ebb and flow

Mixed feelings, bubbling to the surface

Like trapped air underwater

Desperate for release

A way of expression, time to expose thoughts

Analyse and review, 

Trapped, scared and panicked

What's holding me back? 

Keeping my eyes closed and holding my breath

Unmarked paths stretch out ahead

The horizon, a blurry line

No destination

No time frame

Just a quiet drive to move on,
To move forward,

To hold tight,
To take a deep, deep breath

Drifting

I'm staring up at blue skies, 

Body swaying 

In time with the water I'm floating on 

Weightless 

Clouds float past

Fluffy pockets of air

Making patterns above my head

Mindless

The current delivers me, finally, to land

I settle down, a firm bed made in warm sand

And here I'll remain, for a while, to mend 

So I'm staring up at blue skies, 

My body surrounded

The water lapping at my toes

Careless

Sound advice!