Saturday 28 December 2013

A little bit of Prosecco

Goes a long way :) 

I got home last night and the flat was freezing. Mel was already in bed so I switched on my leccy blanket and slipped into something more comfortable... my onesie! 

I slept like a baby. Woke up at about 10am and have pretty much say on my butt all day watching movies. 

Row got in about 3pm and we spent 3 hours drinking Prosecco, eating Hula Hoops and watching RuPaul's Drag Race :) It was a fun way to spend the afternoon. 

I then went to the cinema to see The Best Man's Holiday with a dear friend. There wasn't much time for a catch up but I'm glad I made the effort to get out of my PJs and meet up with her. 

I realise that I need to not take people for granted. You just never know when they're not going to be in your life anymore. And not just people, things... like your health! 

I've had an insane toothache all Christmas. It's affected my sleep, I've felt run down and my mood; and first thing Monday I'm registering with a dentist and doctor. And I want to get fit... I want to get healthy, so I've called on a friend to sort out a PT session.

The next year is going to be hard work but I'm going to make sure the fun doesn't stop.


Friday 27 December 2013

Metal and Dust

I'm not very good at letting go. I flirt with the idea of moving on every now and again but I've yet to give it my best shot. 

The thing is, I'm still 'in love' with what was. The future hasn't won me over just yet. 

I think I secretly like hurting myself, reliving the moments I cherished the most, the ones that give me the most pain... How f***ed up is that? 

Yesterday I cried because he didn't text me Merry Christmas... It's been five months! I should be stronger than that and yet I'm aware that a year ago today we moved into our flat. 

I got teary listening to London Grammar's version of Nightcall as I was travelling to meet a friend to do something FUN! 

I'm SO sick of this. 

If I've learnt anything it's that the more you love, the more it hurts when it ends - so just don't bother. 

Monday 23 December 2013

Who says NO to love?

I'm craving the physical contact of being in a relationship. 

I want to feel the warmth and strength of a mans arms around me, the fullness of his lips against my skin and soft words whispered in my ear. 

I miss the feeling of being loved, even as I sleep. 

The comfort of a lazy arm across my waist as I wake, breath on the back of my neck and our bodies in mirrored positions, my back to your front.

Legs tangled casually on a sofa, hands held as you stroll down the road, foreheads touching as you fall asleep. 

These are the things that can ease a heavy heart, lighten a dark day. 


Monday 16 December 2013

What happens at the Xmas party.... stays at the Xmas party

Monday morning!

First day back after the work's Xmas party and everyone is in high spirits trying recall, through the drunken haze and a weekend of recovery, whether anything juicy happened.

There was a lot of drinking, that's for sure, dad-dancing, a spot of apple knobbing, and not so secret snogging. The hog roast was finished before half the staff could eat so Domino's to the rescue!

Lost count of the number of glasses that were broken, someone was sick on the couch in reception and one of the waitresses tried to make off with 3 bottles of wine.

Everything gets hazy after about my 4th glass of wine, and that's after I'd had 3 glasses of prosecco on a practically empty stomach.

I just remember dancing like an absolute loon, walking half-way home crying because I was cold and probably far too drunk to be walking alone, snacking on a MASSIVE packet of wotsits, and then collapsing into bed - make-up still on, smudged down my cheek.

Saturday was not pretty - urgh, I'm too old for this nonsense.




Wednesday 11 December 2013

Getting stuck in

It's that time of year when pretty much ALL motivation for fitness, bar making sure you can fit into that LBD, goes flat - as flat as you wished your stomach would be but isn't because… it's that time of year!

I feel horrible but it's as if I cannot stop. The intention is there, I want to be fitter, trimmer, stronger, but I just keep on giving into the laziness.

I've touched on this a few times over the last 3 months, it's a reoccurring theme for me but I'd really love to know:
How do you keep the motivation to exercise? 

It's never too late to make a start but I do feel it's pointless in December. However, I'm not going to let THAT let me off the hook so I WILL go to the gym this evening. I WILL run 5k, I WILL use the ab machine and then I'll go home, eat eggs, epilate my legs and go to bed early again.

I've ripped the following of off Fitwatch in the hope that:
a) I'll remember I wrote this and make use of the tips
b) You find this interesting and can make use of the tips

So here goes…

1) Find A Role Model  
Who has that “perfect” body that you would love to have?

Many women tape up pictures of someone they aspire to be like, as it's a great way to keep your goals fresh in your mind, and to remind you what you’re striving towards.

Make sure that you choose someone deserving of your admiration – not someone who has an impossible to achieve image.

2) Set Small Goals
If you have set the bar too high by setting goals that are too tough to reach, you’re setting yourself up to be disappointed.

Just set smaller, easy to achieve goals and work your way towards the bigger goals. Start with something simple like, “I will work out three times this week.”

3) Reward Yourself 
Setting goals is a great way to get yourself going in an exercise program, but if you have a hard time keeping yourself going, don’t be afraid to offer yourself rewards for any small achievements.

Just remember that if you’re working out to lose weight, don’t reward yourself with food!

4) Get A Buddy 
Having someone to work out with makes it much more fun, and will keep you more motivated to exercise. Having a buddy makes it much harder for you to skip your workout, because they will be there to hold you accountable.

If you can’t find a buddy to work out with, hire a personal trainer to give you that extra push.

5) Make It Fun 
Exercise doesn’t have to be boring or repetitive. If you don’t like your exercise routine, change it and make it more exciting.

If your exercise routine is fun, you will end up looking forward to exercise, instead of dreading it.

6) Mix It Up 
Anything you do over and over every day is going to get boring, no matter how motivated you are to succeed. Find several different exercises you enjoy, and alternate.

Whenever you find yourself getting bored with a workout, replace it with something else you enjoy, and go back to it again when you’re ready.

7) Don’t Take It Too Seriously
If you start treating exercise like hard work, that’s exactly what it will become. Don’t let yourself get a bad attitude towards exercising, or you will be more likely to give up.

Staying motivated isn’t hard if you approach your exercise program with an open mind. Be flexible and let yourself have fun.

I go to a GYMBOX gym franchise and it's full of people who already look like they workout every day, eat uber healthily (tofu, sushi and whatnot) and never drink. I'd love to get involved in a class but I'm worried that I'll look like a fool as I've never done it before. Everyone else look like professionals!

So… how does one get over ones self? To be continued…


Monday 9 December 2013

Brand New Start, Same Old Nonsense

I've moved - YAY! The last weekend of November 2013 was a hectic weekend of lugging boxes and personal affects, cleaning and furniture window shopping. I am still truly exhausted.

There were no tears but I did feel melancholy. I mean this is my life for the next year at least, and if I'm honest - I still hoped, you know? So I've got a new routine to get used to, new people to learn about and a new future to carve…

The countdown to the end of 2013 has begun. I'm making a note of 12 things I want to achieve/experience in 2014, one for each month of the year. So instead of New Years Resolutions, which I'll break within two weeks, I'm treating myself to 12 awesome activities.

I'm planning to have fun and let loose in 2014 - start really enjoying my life.

Friday night I was supposed to go out for a drink... with a boy. I was fretting about this because deep down I know I'm not over him but, as my friends have been saying, I've got to start somewhere.

Anyway, I was kind of excited. I'd spoken to this fella a couple of times during the week and he seemed really NORMAL and nice, why shouldn't I be excited? We were going to meet after work for a drink in London Bridge, as it's half way between our respective homes, but he bailed on me last minute; something to do with work. He suggested we meet on Sunday instead, 'I'll make it up to you' he said.

Now, I had a busy day Saturday.

I walked into Camden (I can do that from my new place) with my housemate Mel, we wandered around the market for a bit before she had to head back and I had rush around to buy some running gear. I had arranged to meet my old housemate/landlord that afternoon for a catch-up and to return my keys, then I was due to head down to Brixton for drinks with a colleague and friend.

I got in really late, swaying and glad I'd made the effort. Laziness would have had me staying in alone instead of socialising with new fun and friendly people, but I won this battle. So yesterday morning was a struggle.

Row, one of my other housemates, and I went to a vintage fair, enjoyed tea and cake, and then did a spot of shopping in Hampstead. I'd exchanged a couple of messages with this matey-boy but there was no mention of meeting up. It was his suggestion and he didn't even bring it up.

I just can't be bothered with that nonsense. I'm not looking for anything serious so I'm not fussed by it, just can't stand people wasting my time. So I stayed in and cooked a chicken curry for me and Row to enjoy. We stuffed our faces (she also bought naan bread and poppadoms) whilst watching X-Factor, followed by I'm a Celebrity and then Jess came home with 2 boxes of 12 Krispy Kreme's - OMG.

I had two. No wonder I couldn't sleep last night - on a sugar HIGH.