Make An Effort

How do you know if/when your friendships have run their course?

Does the time between communication get longer and longer?
Do your meet ups suffer from those 'awkward' silences?
Are you making excuses NOT to see them?
Avoiding phone calls or your calls never answered?

And what happens if it's family?

I'm finding that my patience is wearing thin. I know I'm being stubborn but I'm just really sick and tired of being a pushover. I've always been the one to put myself out there, make the first contact but this time, I'm digging my heels in. And unfortunately that will mean me missing out on things, on people.

It REALLY upsets me that the people I love and care for the most seem to find it so easy to forget me, but life moves on. The sun rises and sets, bills still need to be paid, work still needs to be done.

Yet I feel selfish for not making an effort to communicate, to find out how they're doing, are they okay? But as time passes and my phone remains silent, I can feel a slow anger build inside of me.

So I get up, do my thing, try to do something every day that will help me improve, and repeat. Every day I'm changing, moving further away from the person they know. I'm moving on.

IF that means without them, so be it. I deserve better, even if what I really want is them to wake up and realise what's happening before it's too late.

Sadly, I know however far I get I'll always need them - and every night I wish they felt the same.

Just Keep Swimming - motivational quotes

When it gets hard to focus or you lose sight of your goal, sometimes a little reminder does the trick!  

 

 

 

 

Focus on how you feel

As someone who has had body issues for as long as I can remember, it's difficult not to focus on things like 'how much you weigh' or your 'dress size'.

Growing up I was always quite active. I played Netball twice a week (practise and a game), I was on the athletics team, and would walk 5k a day (to school and back).

Once I'd done my A Levels, my life became more sedentary. Within two years I went from a UK size 10 (US 6) to a size 14 (US 10). didn't help that I was working in a pub and my routine was a late start and late finish with beer and burgers making up most of my meals. Exercise ceased to exist in my life.

However, I was completely unaware that there was anything 'wrong' with my body.

I was blissfully ignorant to the feelings of body self-consciousness until a boy I used to date as a young teenager called me 'meaty'.

Comments like that have continued to haunt me and even when people I love, including boyfriends, have tried to convince me otherwise. There's an image in my head that I'm in constant competition with. I am never satisfied.

But I've learnt that what I'm looking for is not at the end of any fad diet and the scales at the gym (because I don't own my own) are never going to make me happy.

It's going to be the way I feel in my favourite pair of jeans. The way they hug my thighs without cutting off circulation when I sit down.

It's going to be the way my t-shirts do not ride up my back when I walk and the fact that I can carry those heavy shopping bags a bit further before swapping hands.

Feeling stronger due to a healthier, active lifestyle. Looking 'better' will be an added bonus.

Pass the **** out

So guys, day one didn't go according to plan, but when does anything.

I was away this weekend visiting the ailing grandparents and had packed some running gear but because it was raining heavily both days, I didn't make it out.

Monday, back at work, I had the brainwave that I'd do this 21 day workout thingy I wrote about in my last post. However, because I wasn't expecting to go to the gym when I packed for the weekend, I forgot 2 vital things... my padlock and more importantly, my membership card. They wanted to charge me £20 for guest pass - safe to say, I went home.

Anyway, yesterday (initially day two) I came prepared.

Day One's workout was pretty much interval running for 52 minutes. There are 3 levels to try over the 3 weeks you follow the regime. I can run comfortably at the suggested level 2 speeds already so I decided to start with those. the plan was to then do Day Two afterwards.

I did the run. 5 miles later and I'm seriously sweaty and ready to collapse.

Usually I'd be happy to go home at this point but I drag myself over to the weights area and grab two of the 6kg dumbbells. I push out 4 sets of 15 bench press, alternating with 4 sets of 8 split squats on each leg.

The burn at this point is making me feel a bit sick, but that's only 2 of the suggested 7 exercises in the programme.

Because there are no mats around for push-ups, some of the men at the gym stand in this area barefoot - euw, I continue with the bench press but upping my weight to 8kg and reducing the number of reps to 10 (this must sounds so boring to those of you who are just not interested in this kind of thing - trust me, I used to be one of those people) alternating the heavier sets with dumbbell deadlifts.

I'm supposed to do ab work... that's all I have to say on that.

My quads feel like they are on fire and my hips are really sore. In the shower I stretch; before bed I do a few moves to open up my hip region and then I pass the **** out.

I'm out at gigs for the next two nights and have plans for Friday so am unable to continue with my workout. I should have just started this at the weekend - HINDSIGHT

21 Days to Tone and Sculpt

Gearing up to Summer, magazines and online sites are full of regimes that promise you a body worthy of walking through the busy streets of London / New York / {Insert City Name Here} in just a bikini & heels.

I have friends readying themselves for holidays abroad, big birthday events, weddings, etc and all they are talking about is 'slimming down', 'toning up' or 'detoxing', and that's pretty much ALL I'll be hearing or talking about for the next few months; until the nights begin to grow colder and we start to cover ourselves up again.

I have exactly 3 months to improve my fitness levels for Tough Mudder and though at the start of the year I was making good on this, my fitness routine has left me feeling rather stale of late; that and the boozy, take-away laden bank holiday weekends.

I'm not consistent enough and I LOVE my carbs - simple & complex. Fact is, I'm eating too much and working out (weight-training) too little.

So I'm setting myself a mini 21 day work-out experiment/challenge.

It's made up of both cardio and weight-training exercises, 6 days a week with one day off to rest. Day one starts today with some interval running and light stretching.

It's a fad regime, I'm aware of this. It's also not something that you can realistically maintain, but like I said, it's an experiment. I want to see if it actually works, and more importantly, if I can push myself to do it - EXACTLY as it states, no slacking.

Less alcohol - No crap - No more excuses!

More water - More vegetables - More effort!

After I've successfully completed this 'quick fix', I need to bump up the 'warrior' workouts at the gym from 0 to 2, and run 10k twice a week because I'll have just under 12 weeks until I have to prove myself.

AND I WILL NOT DIE ON THAT COURSE!