Pin-Addict

I love everything about Pinterest.

I happily waste a good few hours a week on it, pinning items I wish I had, quotes/saying I wish I had the guts to say, and places I wish I could go.

At the moment my biggest addiction is pinning decor for the home I 'hope' to buy, but will never be able to afford.

I pin anything I like. There's no real theme, except comfort.

I'm a girls girl so there's plenty of floral and colour, possibly and man's nightmare but from my experience they don't even notice unless it's pointed out to them… much like dust!

So I'm following an uber cool thread on Google + called Housetohome for inspiration and get emails from Joss & Main.

I have a good idea of how I want my living area and my kitchen. Ideally I'd love a cottage, so incorporate that into my pins. I think of coming home to sink into a comfortable sofa, surrounded by cushions, neutral and calm colours, making a cup of tea on my AGA ;)

Here are a few examples...

  

If you're more into cool prints, shower curtains and accessories, head to the American site Society6. Absolutely love the random bits you find on there.

I definitely nest. My home is my haven. It's the place I centre myself after a rough day or a hard experience. If my home is in order, life seems more bearable.

What centres you?

Looking for a home - doing my head in

It's bloody stressful, and a little disheartening when you're not chosen.

I went to see two places on Tuesday night.

The first:
Ideal location, just off Upper Street, Islington. Reasonably priced and I should see why the moment I walked into the communal stairwell. The carpet was tatty, the stairs were worn and extremely narrow. To get the to flat in question you had to climb up 3 floors and when you got to the top, you were met with a lot of crap - stumps of a tree?! WTF?

Inside was small. I was promptly shown through to the front room and told that all furniture bar the two sofa's would be taken, as would the kitchen appliances and the double bed in one of the available rooms. The general appearance of the place screamed "worn down & worn the hell out". I wasn't initially impressed, but as I walked toward the train station in order to make my way to the next viewing I considered the pros

1. The location was perfect
2. The price was perfect
3. It could do with a deep clean which I would be up for
4. With all the personal items going I could get my stuff out of storage and make it my own… 

The flat was back in the running

The second:
It's not in the area I want to live, in fact it's more or less back where I used to live… with him. I turned off Commercial Street into the road googlemaps was telling me the flat was on. I came face to face with a group of youths (remember I'm over 30 now) smoking weeds, and it was seriously strong smelling weed, and hanging outside their flash car, which they can afford because they still live at home with their parents and pay no rent! - RANT over

I tapped in the door number at the main entrance and waited for them to let me in. I walked to the top of the stairs and found the flat was right by the main building stairs. My first reservation - noise.

As I was let in, I was greeted by a friendly male, met by another friendly male as we walked down the hall towards the living area. The tour was quick because everything was within a step away from each other. The room itself was pretty. It had everything you needed. I stayed for a chat and felt like they would be great flatmates.

Yesterday I woke up to a text to say that I wasn't chosen for the first place and I have to say, I wanted to cry. From the second I left it to the time I'd received that text, I'd built a life for myself there, surrounded by my belongings, feeling more like me again.

Then as I was about to turn off the light and go to sleep, I got a text from the second flat… They want to see me again on Saturday for a drink :) only issue is that I'm not in London this weekend WAAAAAAH!!

Search continues

Kicking a habit

So I know I’ve been quiet for a few days but if I’m honest, I’ve been on a bit of an emotional roller-coaster.

Me and the boyf have called it quits.

Sounds so bizarre after I’ve been writing posts about how much I love him and idolise our relationship, but unfortunately it’s true.

I’ve found myself in a dark place this past week, my head shifting from complete understanding to a whirlwind of confusion.

I’ve tried to make him understand how and why I’m feeling the way I do but I just couldn’t quite articulate it correctly. I wanted to understand why it hurts so much, hoping that by knowing the emotional/physical reasons that I’d start to be able to come to terms with my new reality. As you do, you head to Google, and I found the following: Heal heartbreak

I think my favourite quotes from this article are “Separation annihilates all those lovely dreams - it wipes out all those fun-filled future plans and replaces them with haunting ghosts of the past and scary thoughts of the bleak future.“ and "There is a big, unpleasant shift in the very core of your identity."

That is exactly how I feel.

And get this explanation for the physical pain - you are experiencing the same irrational and involuntary brain state as a person deprived of food, water or a drug.

In the midst of all this mind and heart paralysing state of affairs, I’m looking for a new place to live and a new purpose for life because, sad as it sounds, he was my passion.

I’ve got new friendships to make and new adventures to experience. Right now that seems SO daunting but time, they say, is a healer.