Just Hold On

Straight to the heart

No planned diversions

Words fired at speed

They're impact dead certain

The wall, it then crumbles

Just debris at my feet

Torn and now exposed

A soul incomplete

A remedy made available

For all this heartache

I was caught with my guard down

Vulnerable, awake

Now here we are

where damage is done at close range

Questioning the future

Regrets we cannot change

Straight to the heart

Sudden tears of relief

I am not unloved

I am not

Start From Scratch

You could move to a small town
Leave behind everything you know
Head to a place you can start again

Work as a waitress
In a cafe off the main street
Be someone new, a new life, a new name

The let downs, new expectations
Pressure, the moment you step out the door
It would be nice not to feel

Time can only do so much
Friends can only listen so long
Moving forward is the way to deal

You could drive out to the ocean
Throw pebbles out into the sea
One for every day things were fine

You could move to a small town
Because you are healing, getting stronger,
One step at a time.

Devotion - very short story

He smiled at me today.

Well that's not anything special. He tends to smile at me a lot nowadays; because he's happy, and if I'm honest I'm a little jealous.

I can't help but glance over at him from time to time. I don't even know I'm doing it until he glances up at me.

It all sounds so very stalkerish, but it's innocent I swear. I start off staring into space, not concentrating on anything in particular and then he's in focus. I come to, quickly averting my gaze.

But when he looks at me I get this fluttery feeling inside.

When we innocently touch, I get the strongest impulse to kiss him.

We barely talk, we have no need to, but when we do I feel like the only one in the room.

My entire body gets hot and he knows; I know he knows.

And I bet secretly he gets a kick out of it but I can't help myself.

I need this.

The thought of us together.

It's all I have. This crush. Because I missed my chance.

Hopeless Romantic

The door opens and then closes heavily a couple of seconds later.

The sound of keys dropped in a glass bowl resound and I hear her footsteps progressing towards the front room, where I'm sat watching television. But I'm now looking at the doorway, waiting.

I can tell from her stride that she's had a couple of drinks; and suddenly she there, smile on her face and cheeks a little flushed.

We catch eyes and laugh. She stumbles over to where I'm sitting and flops down on the sofa next to me, resting her head on my shoulder.

"Are you in love?"
"I'm in love Amy."

Said at the exact same time, we giggle together. This has happened a couple of times. It's a harmless inside joke, that after a couple of drinks on a date she's in love. Rose tinted glasses working their magic on life, making it all seem so wonderful.

I envy it.

I'm having a hard time not to feel jaded towards the idea of love at the moment. I know what the real thing feels like and I guess I'm still clinging to it.

They never last though, these dates. After the second or third, the novelty has worn off. But that first date :) it even brings me a tingle of excitement and I'm not the one going on it.

#NeverGiveUpOnLove