We're not old, we're retro - rant

Another one bites the dust.

My friend is pregnant. In the last 6 months she's found the love of her life and now, she's pregnant.

I'm happy for her, of course I am. I knew it would be him :) they light up around one another but, I'm sad too. Not because I'm losing another friend to motherhood, it's more selfish than that; it's because I'm exactly in the same place as I was 5 years ago... getting over a boy, not sure what I'm doing with life. 

It's a numbing reality. 

I'm not even really sure where to start with work. Two weeks of Jan have passed and they have done so like thieves in the night, without me noticing. It's a sobering thought that time can pass so silently. 

I know why I'm freaking out. I've got 9 weeks left. This year, my 30th year, started on such a high, had a drastic dip and has now plateaued. I had imagined it SO differently. 

If you had the option to read about what would happen in your life over the next year, would you? I think after the last year... I might consider it, just to prepare myself for ANYTHING. 

I promise, I'm not drunk. Still sober 19 days in. I think this is a sugar rant, or lack of. 

One step at a time x

Scandal

As I've been off sick this week I've pretty much had nothing, well I've not had the energy to do anything but watch movies and catch-up on shows.

Before Christmas, a colleague told me to check out Shonda Rhime's newest hit, Scandal. I forgot about it for weeks but after 1 episode, I was hooked.

I've found myself staying up into the early hours of the morning damning Shonda for keeping me so gripped that I wouldn't allow myself to sleep.

I have smiled until my cheeks hurt, been brought to tears, frightened, angry, absolutely SHOCKED, disgusted, jealous of the lead's wardrobe with EVERY episode, fallen in love, been aroused…  My diet shall consist of nothing but popcorn and Bordeaux from hereonin.

I frickin' LOVE it - and now I've run out of episodes to watch so I must wait like normal people.

Damn you Shonda, damn you!!

Under the weather

What does that even mean? Whatever it is, I feel it.

Maybe it's the shock of doing serious exercise or the dramatic reduction in 'crap' but my body just cannot handle it. I'm annoyed though because I had a flu jab before Christmas and suddenly I'm experiencing flu-like symptoms.

When will winter be over?! I'm done with the dark, cold, the wet and windy - unless that's the name of an awesome cocktail. In which case, I'll be seeing you in February ;)

I can see why people who vow not to touch a drop to drink throughout Jan as a New Year's Resolution fail miserably and end up rob ably drinking more in the first 2 weeks of Jan than they did all of December. It's a crappy month. It's dark, you're back at work, you're broke because of Christmas, the weather is shite, etc

But don't lose hope.

If you are on that 'Dry Jan' journey like me, and have found yourself succumbing to winter weariness, treat yo self!

Schedule in a few evenings or days in the month where you do something for you. Be it time to soak in the bath reading a trashy novel, pampering yourself with a face steam/mask (boys too), doing your nails, watching your favourite programme or films back to back.

Turn off your phone. Log off Facebook/Twitter/Instagram/Tinder/POF and relax. Instead of that boring piece of chicken breast for dinner, grab a steak. Do something you love but feel you never have time for. Summer will soon be around, your social calendar will fill up and you'll really have time for yourself.

Use these annoying dull days to do something for you - even if that's planted to the sofa recovering from a stupid cold like me *sniff*

Attack of the DOMS

OUCH!

Yesterday wasn't that bad. Yes my quads were aching a little bit but NOTHING like today. Walking downstairs makes me want to cry and don't get me started on how they feel after I've been seated for a while.

 

To get technical - my rectus femoris ache a lot, but both vastus lateralis… O.M.G unreal kind of pain.

And yet I love it because it's not bad pain, it's just my body's way of telling me "Hey b*tch, I'm shocked. You've shocked me!" And so it should be! I worked out like a beast on Wednesday night and I plan to continue. It's time to shake things up a bit.

I'm a cardio/classes kinda girl, so doing weighted squats - squats at ALL - deadlifts, lunges and those bloody mountain climbers, my body has no idea what has happened. But it better get used to it because this is my new workout routine.

I'm still going to run because I've got a 10K run in July to train for and I want a PB (personal best) but I want to start seeing definition of these strong muscles of mine. I want, come Summer, people to see the results of my time spent at the gym and think 'Oh yeah, you can see she works out.'

HELL YEAH I DO - Grrrrrrrr

Are you worth it?

I'm doing Dry Jan. I almost wrote 'attempting' but I know I can do this.

I was never really a big drinker before the break-up, don't get me wrong I liked a drink but since August most of my social activities have been mainly drinking based. I know it's bad to wait until the New Year to make changes but in a sense it's kind of easier; you've got a clear starting and end point.

Anyway, I digress, so it's been six days and I've not given in to having a drink, which is quite a feat considering the amount of alcohol we still have at the flat and my housemates like a cheeky wine with dinner. I've not really been tempted either.

I have lapsed on the sugar though :( I just cannot stop myself when I'm at home. I just want to eat, eat, eat. But I should give myself a little slack. I can't do everything at once because it'll be too hard and far too daunting a task, resulting in a massive binge and no doubt 500 steps in the wrong direction.

So I'm sticking with just a few goals for January:

• Try to get in at least 3 forty-five minute workouts in a week. Running, weights, walking, Zumba, an hour on the Wii - anything!
• Cut out the following from your diet - fizzy drinks, alcohol, junk/fast food
• Reduce the number of lunches you buy on the day to one a week
• Do 10 push-ups every day... and I mean EVERY DAY

Got my personal training session tomorrow with Kix Training and I'm excited. He's going to work me till I cry but if it gets me to where I want to be, I'm up for it. I've made too many excuses for too long and I know I cannot do this alone. 

It's going to take time. 

It's going to take discipline. 

It's going to take a lot of hard work. 

But it's all going to be worth it :) 

Having trouble sleeping…

I go to bed at a reasonable hour, I lie awake for - god knows how long because I don't want to check my phone - I listen to the sounds of traffic coming from the road below me, and I wait. I've invested in an eye mask to keep the light out, I've stopped drinking caffeinated tea after 6pm and I've not had a drop of alcohol for 3 days.

Three weeks of high fat, high sugar indulgence is showing it's ugly head, and messing with mine. So I have to be careful with what I eat until my sleeping habits return to normal because not only does sleep deprivation literally mess with your mind but it seriously screws with your appetite as well.

When deprived of sleep, the body produces more ghrelin, a ”hunger hormone”, that increases your desire to eat… and eat… and eat.

Simply by getting enough sleep your body will better regulate those hunger cues all on its own, which will make it easier for you to moderate your consumption of any tasty, but pesky, leftover holiday treats that have managed to sneak their way into your office.

Moral of the story… Sleep more, snack less. Sleep more, weigh less.

Amen!

Snap back to reality, Oh there goes gravity

So Christmas is over, New Year's done and dusted, and my bank account is empty (even after payday). I'm suffering from major sugar withdrawals, having survived on purely biscuits, Quality Street, homemade mince pies and cherry pie, over-indulging on alcohol and fatty meats for the last month.

What do we have to look forward to next? 

Well, I'm back at work and in a way it's nice that it's the beginning of a new year. I'm looking out over the next 12 months and I'm able to plan what I want to achieve in that time. There's a lot of growing to be done, and lots of shrinking too - mainly my waist and jaw lines.

I'm FINALLY ready to tackle this fitness thing once and for all.

My first PT session is booked and I'm monitoring my food intake over the next month. I find that if I have to note down what I'm putting into my body, I choose much better foods... except today when I had cheese for breakfast, oops, but I do have a homemade tuna salad for lunch.

I've not done a bit of exercise in 3 weeks. This will of course all change starting Sunday when I plan to torture myself with a 5k road run even if it's raining - f**k you rain. PLUS my housemate Mel and I decided last night that we're signing up for the British London 10k Run that's happening in July. I want to complete it in under an hour.... Oh yeah!

I will master the art of squats and if my PT has anything to do with it, my new best friends will be kettle-bells. Fine with me if he gets me looking Hollywood sexy in time for my trip to LA in September.

So LOOK OUT 2014 because it's forecast to be a fighting fit, fun and fantastical year!